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535D LCI, Completely Dead!

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Thank god for this forum,


Honesty I have a different problem every month, almost at the brink of just getting rid of it. 


Anyway, this morning as I go out to my car to go to work everything as normal. Car beeps from unlock, interior lights on, headlights on, FOB inserted and the click and usual noises.. must have pressed the start pretty much straight after and EVERYTHING died. FOB gets stuck in lock. Pulling out and re-insertion does nothing. 

I have no power to anything, even the hazards. When I say nothing I mean literally nothing.


It’s 4am so bit early to start getting tools out and what not, there’s a garage at the bottom of my road so I will kindly ask to use their Multimeter. 


I suspect the battery is fine and I have a short or I blew a fuse, the question is what fuse. There’s so many! Where do I start and what ones can I rule out if any?


Furthermore, I see this post on another forum so will probably try this first. But even if this did work, what does it indicate?


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Went to disconnect the negative terminal and my tail lights come on as soon as I touched it??? Sure enough my power was back and it started. 


This sounds like a short? Why would this happen? 

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I'd hazzard a guess this is simply a dirty battery terminal. I've seen this before when you put a load of current (in this case the starter) through the terminal you lose connection totally. I'd clean up the negative and ensure it's good and tight.

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