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NuckingFuts

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About NuckingFuts

  • Rank
    Rambling musings from the voices in my head...

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Behind You...
  • Interests
    Most stuff, just ask.
  • Occupation
    Packet Core Design Engineer

Garage

  • Garage
    E30 325i Turbo, E39 540iA Touring BiarritzBlau SE, '99 TitanSilver M5; 02 530dMT

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. NuckingFuts

    For sale OEM E39 and E38 manuals

    @Piper have you got all of the manuals? Are the service books blank? cheers Deepan
  2. NuckingFuts

    Predicament

    Small update: Got some power to the positive power point under the car, that enabled me to unlock the car, and open the door. got the battery out, and charged it overnight indoors. simultaneously I changed the hedgehog sensor. After about a week, the battery is struggling, as just overnight (7:30pm to about noon the next day) the car didn't want to start. I had power to unlock, power to the lights etc but not enough to completely crank the car. I need to now get the multimeter out and try and test each fuse, and find out how to test the alternator. or drive the car off a cliff. Cheers Deepan
  3. NuckingFuts

    Predicament

    Nein. Key doesn't move more than 45 degrees in either direction (anti-CW or CW) will soak it in WD40 again in a bit now that it's stopped raining. otherwise tomorrow morning i'll be jacking the front up, and engaging the starter directly. the key is fine, it had a new battery just before lockdown. Has anyone successfully got a refund from Halfords for a duff battery within 12m? i've disconnected the radio, USB charger, and dash cam so shouldn't be any electronics draining the car, no funny lights, battery terminals were scrubbed clean, positive terminal on the engine is secured properly and safely. potentially the last major thing could be the earth strap from the engine to the subframe, otherwise i'll be getting the multi-meter out and poking each slot of both fuse boxes. obviously it's moot point if i can't open the door and get inside the bugger. Shoot. Me. Now Cheers NF aka Deepan aka Mr Lost his damn mind
  4. NuckingFuts

    Predicament

    Yep, i've used it many a time in the 540iT and even shining a torch in there, there's no evidence of one ever being there at all. there's foam, and almost pristine inner skin of the boot door but no pull tab. it may well have been yanked too hard at some point in it's life, but it's definitely not there now. it's a moot point at the moment, as i can't get the driver's door unlocked to even climb in to unlock the boot door to get to the battery. and if i could get the drivers door open, i'd just open the bonnet, jump start the car and leave it running while i open the boot with the button, and then attach the charger. seems to all hinge on this bleedin drivers door! Cheers NF aka Deepan aka Mr Lost his damn mind
  5. NuckingFuts

    Predicament

    There's no black tab to pull inside the left hand opening, under the boot door tool kit. believe me, I've checked. yes, WD40 has been inside the lock and in/around the handle. I believe the battery is absolutely dead, the rear SLS has started to sag in the last few days but with the rain i've not properly checked. it's a flat car park so while i can stretch an extension cable and my battery charger/reconditioner - i don't see that it's safe to do so when it's wet. Grills are easy to get off, but how do i open the bonnet that way? yank on the cable & release catch? might be early and i can't visualise it. Cheers NF aka Deepan aka Mr Lost his damn mind
  6. NuckingFuts

    Predicament

    So i've not driven the car in a few weeks and the battery is dead. Can't unlock the car with the keyfob, and the key in the lock doesnt go a full 90degrees to the left to open the door manually. engaging the starter from underneath is potentially an option but i thought id ask here if there are any more. might have to try sliding a coat hanger through the seal and yank the handle myself. also the tailgate doesnt have a manaul release tab which i thought was very strange. Car is: 2002 530d manual touring with added jacking point ventilation. 302k mileage. hybrid gt56 turbo and map supplied by Dr M Hind. muchos gracias Deepan aka NF aka Mr Lost his damn mind
  7. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    I may have spoken too soon, either the hose is too big, or the connectors are too small. ive had my temporary white join crack under the pressure of the fuel delivery, and the backup black one from the old braided hose return line piss out fuel from the microscopic gap in the hose from where it’s clamped on. im going to see if Halfords have a slightly larger braided hose, while I wait for these brass connectors to arrive, which should be today but somehow I doubt it. I hate cars IMG_1896.MOV IMG_1923.MOV
  8. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    8mm was perfect. Tight fit on both ends of the return side, and Halfords box of 8-10mm jubilees are a snug fit too so they worked out perfectly. Even with a bit of slack on both sides of the braided hose (pump side and pre-heater side) there’s still At least about 20-30cm left over if not a touch more. 1 metre was more than enough. im just about to put it all back together now and praying that my plastic replacement for the circled part holds up for the drive today and long enough to get the brass replacement fitted. #PrayForMe thanks again! It’s been a huge help! NF aka Deepan
  9. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    out of interest, the fuel line has a t-piece in the middle for the leak off line braided hose, what did you replace that with? circled in blue above. I've just got a Brittle plastic <6mm connector in there while i wait for a brass replacement today / tomorrow. cheers NF aka Deepan
  10. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    I'm replacing both parts, the t-piece and the braided hose going to each of the injectors. I just hope nothing else goes wrong. I'm assuming you replaced the metal clips with Jubilee's? Cheers NF aka Deepan
  11. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    It’s the only 1x8mm fuel hose they do by the looks of things. Was 1 metre enough or did you buy more? As this was the last one in stock, if I need to buy more, I’d have to go to the next store which is about 3 miles away. Thanks again. NF aka Deepan
  12. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    looks like I managed to reserve the last one from my local Halfords I'm assuming this is the right one? I’ll check the next closest if they have one and if not, see if euros will do same day delivery. Thanks so much! NF aka Deepan
  13. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    @Ray112 you are a beautiful human bean ! it’s the black rubber one, so 8mm fuel hose. Any idea on what length you bought and where from? I can’t wait to buy some tomorrow, cut the old ones out and make it all nice and shiny!! bloomin cars, like our women; can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
  14. NuckingFuts

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Fuel return line, part number 13532248276 Part #9: https://www.realoem.com/bmw/enUS/showparts?id=DP72-EUR-02-2002-E39-BMW-530d&diagId=13_0801 Does anyone know what size fuel hose it is? Would any generic 7/8/9/10mm fuel hose work with some jubilee clips instead of the oem ones? I want to say it’s 8/9mm but neither realoem nor any of the eBay listings state any kind of specs for the hose. I’ve been changing the seals and replacing two injectors, one that was buggered and one on its way out (garage did a leak off test for me) and managed to snap the plastic T-Piece when reattaching the Braided fuel line that connects to the top of the injectors. I bought a brass replacement/upgrade kit but then snapped the main connector of the fuel hose to braided line that sits under the inlet. So if you look at the attached photo, these clips Make me want to blow the car up. They’ll be replaced with jubilee clips. However; the fuel hose they’re fastening on to; can I replace that with any generic fuel hose? What size of hose if yes?! BMW oem one is ~£55 and would take 3 working days to arrive and I can’t wait that long as I need to get to a hospital appointment and the cab fair would be extortionate. Muchos Gracias NF aka Deepan
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