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The Spooner

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  1. Haha
    The Spooner got a reaction from Keliuss in Key no longer locks/starts car. EWS fault?   
    Clearly the only solution to this problem is to transplant the M2 engine and running gear into the E34! 
  2. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from d_a_n1979 in Rear view mirror knocked off   
    Anecdotally the mirror in my E34 fell off - vibrations through car due to twatting the steering knuckle with a sledgehammer - don't ask. 
     
    I called into BMW to get some glue "oh we don't do that sir, the screens come from the factory with the mounting tab already adhered. Has to be a special glue, says here they use epoxy resin." "Araldite then" "err yes sir." 
     
    Been fine ever since.
     
    P.S. Halfords mounting tabs are shit. 
  3. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from d_a_n1979 in Rear view mirror knocked off   
    Anecdotally the mirror in my E34 fell off - vibrations through car due to twatting the steering knuckle with a sledgehammer - don't ask. 
     
    I called into BMW to get some glue "oh we don't do that sir, the screens come from the factory with the mounting tab already adhered. Has to be a special glue, says here they use epoxy resin." "Araldite then" "err yes sir." 
     
    Been fine ever since.
     
    P.S. Halfords mounting tabs are shit. 
  4. Thanks
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in Dangerous Wiper incident.   
    I discovered that even if the nut is tightened, the splines on the arm can still be too worn! Had this a few years ago on the passenger side - was a loose nut that wore the spline down - a new arm later and all was well 
  5. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from d_a_n1979 in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    Unfortunately took me a bit longer than 15 minutes - the plug was stuck fast! Everything else went ok and I'm pleased to report that the fan now works again... 
     
    I'm skilled in footwell yoga thanks to changing pollen filters on my E34 haha! 
     
    Oh and I owe you thanks - I saw a post of yours from a couple of years ago when researching symptons that pointed to a supplier on Amazon of the Meyle FSU, which is the exact one I ordered! 
  6. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Pete Soulby in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    Did mine recently - lots and lots of penetrating fluid a couple of days before, then after I loosened all the really awkward bolts that hold the hub assembly to the wheel carrier I twatted it with a hammer (I was lazy and bought a new hub assembly - I knew the job of the wheel bearing would be bad enough without adding extra jeopardy!) and it fell off.  
     
    Like you there was also lots of swearing, and my shoulder still hurts from where I managed to lower the car on it...
  7. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Loadmaster in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    MoT passed  
     
    One advisory - N/S headlamp dim... I'm wondering if it's actually dim, or the arse has fallen out of the adjusters on that side. Both lights still do the uppy-downy thing on switch on so does that mean it's broken or just badly aimed? I'll try and tweak the aim myself with the screw on top of the unit. Still, not bad for very nearly 19 years old and 196000 miles! 
  8. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from PL523i in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    Indeed - another year legal!
     
    I don't believe it to be the bulb, when I've parked up against a wall the light output either side is the same, just the N/S is noticeably lower in aim. Ah well, definitely can't complain, plus I changed both bulbs about 2 years ago, and as they're xenon bulbs I'd hope for a bit more life! 
  9. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  10. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  11. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  12. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  13. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  14. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  15. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.  
     




  16. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Kit in What have you done on your E34 Today   
    They aren’t that bad haha - just got to wind them up a bit! 
     
    there’s a YouTube video by a guy whose channel is basically based around vmaxing cars on the autobahn. He does a video of a 520i touring, and if nothing else (apart from a nice noise) it shows how short the gearing is on them... 
  17. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from d_a_n1979 in Defeated by Rear Brake shoes   
    I found them fiddly as well - the worst was when I finally got it together and thought “that looks wrong” so took it apart again... turns out it had been right... 
     
    anyway for reassembly I found this image which shows a suggested rebuild sequence which actually, whilst still fiddly, was quite useful. 

  18. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from d_a_n1979 in Defeated by Rear Brake shoes   
    I found them fiddly as well - the worst was when I finally got it together and thought “that looks wrong” so took it apart again... turns out it had been right... 
     
    anyway for reassembly I found this image which shows a suggested rebuild sequence which actually, whilst still fiddly, was quite useful. 

  19. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Mashmanu in M54 fan shroud   
    Haha that did make me laugh - been quite a few times where I wished I’d taken it to a garage!!! 
     
    I’ve done the shroud a few times, but never seem to get the right knack to it, I’m slightly happier that it’s not just me who finds it a sod
  20. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Tomsontour in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    Ideal, always nice to have a clean pass!
  21. Thanks
    The Spooner got a reaction from Pzero in What did you do to your E39 today ?   
    They aren't too bad to do, as has been said. A couple of days before I did mine I sprayed the strut clamp and strut with penetrating fluid. One of the bolts (from memory) requires the hub assembly to be dropped for access but it's not too bad. I was also in to replace all suspension arms at the same time. 
     
    Even I managed it and I'm a half wit (see my post above!)
  22. Like
    The Spooner got a reaction from Huff in First time E39 owner   
    I had a full cylinder shut off (fuel off like you) when a coil pack boot cracked. The codes made for horrible reading but it was a simple fix.
     
    car looks good OP, enjoy! 
  23. Haha
    The Spooner got a reaction from dirtydirtydiesel in Do you let your better half drive your BMW? :)   
    That’s good that she can change a wheel: I tried to teach mine once and she didn’t want to know. I said “what happens if you get a puncture?” “Oh I’ll just call you” was the response...
  24. Haha
    The Spooner got a reaction from tallman85 in Do you let your better half drive your BMW? :)   
    She's driven both, not the most mechanically sympathetic though: When I first bought the E34, she was out in it on her own and her own words "I was overtaking something and it suddenly stopped accelerating, but the engine sounded like it was fluctuating" Yes, having been used to horrible little 4 cylinder cars, she wasn't used to the refinement of 6 cylinders and had sat there bouncing it off the rev limiter... 
     
    Thankfully she's got better since...
  25. Haha
    The Spooner got a reaction from tallman85 in Do you let your better half drive your BMW? :)   
    She's driven both, not the most mechanically sympathetic though: When I first bought the E34, she was out in it on her own and her own words "I was overtaking something and it suddenly stopped accelerating, but the engine sounded like it was fluctuating" Yes, having been used to horrible little 4 cylinder cars, she wasn't used to the refinement of 6 cylinders and had sat there bouncing it off the rev limiter... 
     
    Thankfully she's got better since...
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