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The Spooner

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Everything posted by The Spooner

  1. The Spooner

    Can I remove the wheels without specific tool?

    And if they're a bit sticky you can get a small flat blade in there and prize them carefully off.
  2. The Spooner

    Key no longer locks/starts car. EWS fault?

    Clearly the only solution to this problem is to transplant the M2 engine and running gear into the E34!
  3. The Spooner

    Rear view mirror knocked off

    Anecdotally the mirror in my E34 fell off - vibrations through car due to twatting the steering knuckle with a sledgehammer - don't ask. I called into BMW to get some glue "oh we don't do that sir, the screens come from the factory with the mounting tab already adhered. Has to be a special glue, says here they use epoxy resin." "Araldite then" "err yes sir." Been fine ever since. P.S. Halfords mounting tabs are shit.
  4. The Spooner

    Dangerous Wiper incident.

    I discovered that even if the nut is tightened, the splines on the arm can still be too worn! Had this a few years ago on the passenger side - was a loose nut that wore the spline down - a new arm later and all was well
  5. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Unfortunately took me a bit longer than 15 minutes - the plug was stuck fast! Everything else went ok and I'm pleased to report that the fan now works again... I'm skilled in footwell yoga thanks to changing pollen filters on my E34 haha! Oh and I owe you thanks - I saw a post of yours from a couple of years ago when researching symptons that pointed to a supplier on Amazon of the Meyle FSU, which is the exact one I ordered!
  6. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Not what I have done but what I will be doing tonight is changing the FSU... My blower fan has not worked intermittently for the last few trips out, and I'm rather hoping it is the FSU. considering I only ordered it yesterday it arrived this afternoon! And to be honest £35 for a Meyle unit and maybe an hour (I hope) of time is not a bad diagnostic process. I hope it's not the blower motor itself.
  7. The Spooner

    Ball joint splitters

    The last time I did the control arms/track rods on my E39 I ended up having to angle grind the spindles off, because the ball joint splitter I had didn't reach enough, and the pickle fork didn't work and I felt dirty for using it! So I'm properly armed for next time, can anyone recommend a longer reach ball joint tool? Last time as I was replacing everything it was easier to get the hub off the car, but if I only have to replace one set of arms I wouldn't necessarily want to take the hub off, and be able to split the ball joints in situ
  8. The Spooner

    Ball joint splitters

    At least BMW had the good grace to switch to non-tapered ball joints for the E60
  9. The Spooner

    Do I have cruise control???

    It's definitely a sport and not a run out ES that someone has fitted a multifunction steering wheel to? Actually, were the ES's available as a touring?
  10. The Spooner

    From drive to reverse

    unfortunately I cannot as I have to change gears myself, like a peasant! In my ignorance I did wonder if the gearbox ECU would prevent a shift to park (although I know the pawl is mechanical, I wondered if it had an electrical connection to it from the gearlever).
  11. The Spooner

    From drive to reverse

    Will it let you slam it into park?
  12. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Also, not today but last weekend I gave it an oil and filter service, as well as air and pollen, and was reminded how for simple servicing these things are so well thought out and easy to work on. In contrast to my Wife's Mini Countryman where it took me at least 2 minutes to find the oil filter...
  13. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Did mine recently - lots and lots of penetrating fluid a couple of days before, then after I loosened all the really awkward bolts that hold the hub assembly to the wheel carrier I twatted it with a hammer (I was lazy and bought a new hub assembly - I knew the job of the wheel bearing would be bad enough without adding extra jeopardy!) and it fell off. Like you there was also lots of swearing, and my shoulder still hurts from where I managed to lower the car on it...
  14. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Indeed - another year legal! I don't believe it to be the bulb, when I've parked up against a wall the light output either side is the same, just the N/S is noticeably lower in aim. Ah well, definitely can't complain, plus I changed both bulbs about 2 years ago, and as they're xenon bulbs I'd hope for a bit more life!
  15. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    MoT passed One advisory - N/S headlamp dim... I'm wondering if it's actually dim, or the arse has fallen out of the adjusters on that side. Both lights still do the uppy-downy thing on switch on so does that mean it's broken or just badly aimed? I'll try and tweak the aim myself with the screw on top of the unit. Still, not bad for very nearly 19 years old and 196000 miles!
  16. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Hope it all works. I must say I thought you watching the racing on an iPad balanced on the engine was inspired - the best I could do was listening to the Greek classics narrated by Stephen Fry when I last worked on it. Calming.
  17. The Spooner

    What have you done on your E34 Today

    Technically yesterday, but used it as my wedding car.
  18. The Spooner

    What have you done on your E34 Today

    Well apparently mine has just got through its MoT - I did the lower control arms at the weekend (and made the mistake of fully disconnecting the steering plate from the strut) as there was excessive play in a ball joint, but it failed on the uppers! Which to be honest I found rather amusing and was slightly annoyed at myself that I didn't get some in for when I did the lowers.
  19. The Spooner

    Turning a e34 into a e39

    Yuck that looks awful.
  20. The Spooner

    What have you done on your E34 Today

    They aren’t that bad haha - just got to wind them up a bit! there’s a YouTube video by a guy whose channel is basically based around vmaxing cars on the autobahn. He does a video of a 520i touring, and if nothing else (apart from a nice noise) it shows how short the gearing is on them...
  21. The Spooner

    G reg silver E34

    Spotted heading west bound on the A36 (Salisbury to Warminster) just outside Serrington. I gave a thumbs up the remembered I was in my E39, not my E34 - d’oh! Wasn’t sure which model it was.
  22. The Spooner

    Defeated by Rear Brake shoes

    I found them fiddly as well - the worst was when I finally got it together and thought “that looks wrong” so took it apart again... turns out it had been right... anyway for reassembly I found this image which shows a suggested rebuild sequence which actually, whilst still fiddly, was quite useful.
  23. The Spooner

    M54 fan shroud

    Anyone got a knack to removing/installing this? It’s the one thing I hate on my E39. I’ve discovered the radiator is leaking (Nissens- less than 18 months old - which I’m a bit pissed off about) and every time I’ve had to do the sodding shroud it’s been an ordeal. So if anyone has a method they use then I’m all ears. In complete contrast to my E34 which you just have to look at and the shroud comes out. Oh the joys...
  24. The Spooner

    M54 fan shroud

    Haha that did make me laugh - been quite a few times where I wished I’d taken it to a garage!!! I’ve done the shroud a few times, but never seem to get the right knack to it, I’m slightly happier that it’s not just me who finds it a sod
  25. The Spooner

    What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Yes I found that when trying to source a back plate (ended up going to BMW) I Suppose the touring does have a different rear end set up which would influence the location of the handbrake gubbins. aside from the springs being a cock to put back on it’s not too bad, and I’ve never had a problem with my handbrake not holding the car. Not the best, but by no means the worst. Can’t do handbrake turns with it though.
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