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Posts posted by NoSmokeNoPoke

  1. 21 hours ago, Blobby said:

    Did you think of removing the 535d badge from the rear?

    My E61 went in for some scratch removal on the rear meaning they had to remove the 535d. I kind of like not having it back on

    I’m tempted to put a 520d badge on it to be honest. Would be a right sleeper then. 

  2. On 18/04/2018 at 2:59 PM, Mashed Potatoes said:


    If you don't mind me asking, what made them not fill you with confidence? I have no affiliation with them, it's just outright curiosity. We only sell the xHP software because we ran it on our own cars first as regular users to see what it was like. After being amazed with it ourselves and speaking to Clemens - one of the guys that set up xHP and developed it, we were completely sold and signed up to be dealers for their software - we were one of the first in the UK to sign up to become dealers for them, and at one point there was nobody else apart from me and Gareth at Map Tech over near Scunthorpe (we've worked together for years) in the North. There were literally no other dealers higher up the country between us two and the north coast of Scotland. 

    The guy just seemed half asleep to be honest. Not very interested might be a better way of explaining rather than no confidence. If left me thinking do I really want this guy touching my car sort of way. I don’t know just got that feeling. 

  3. 10 hours ago, RightHandGoose said:



    I would be interested in what the place Glasgow says as well, I was supposed to contact them a few months after a discussion with Mash............

    I just got a call back from them and they said they can do the flash. The guy on the phone didn’t give me great confidence to be honest but He said it’s £270 and takes a couple of hours. He’s getting back to me with a date for it. 

  4. 6 minutes ago, Mashed Potatoes said:




    They are listed as the following:


    Ultraxenon Ltd

    269 Alexandra Parade 
    G31 3AD Glasgow, GB

    0141 554 0486


    I'm a good few hours away from you, I'm on the Wirral between Chester and Liverpool so not exactly down the road! :(

    Thank you very much for the info. I have emailed them so I’ll see what comes back. If they don’t do it I may well be making the Trip to you. 

  5. 3 hours ago, Mashed Potatoes said:


    Do you have an Android based phone? If so you can flash your car yourself if you have access to a battery charger, a cable from Cable Shack (or other D-CAN cable) and an OTG adapter (your phone must support OTG for this to work - most of the new ones do).


    xHP is a gearbox remap. It utterly transforms it - it's like driving a whole new car. This is my car just doing a short acceleration pull on the xHP Stage 3 gearbox map. Changes are faster, you don't get the elastic band feeling, it just revs and revs instead of stalling against the torque converter but more importantly it's not rough. Bang it into sport mode or manual though and changes are near instant. Stage 3 also blips the throttle on downshifts too. This video is quite old, it's even faster now than it is in the video, this was on version 1.3 software I think. The latest is now 2.4 for my box.




    If you don't want to do it yourself, the nearest dealer to you appears to be in Glasgow, but it would be well worth the trip. For us to do it we charge £264 inc. VAT which is slightly more expensive than doing it yourself, but you can try all of the stages instead of buying individually or the more expensive super license, and we obviously supply the battery charger, our own cables etc. We also install updates for free. I have heard rumours of some others charging for this but don't quote me on that - it's only rumours. You can do it yourself a little cheaper if you have everything already though. xHP only supply a guide price, so every dealer will be different so it might be worth having a ring around. If you use the flashpoint locator on their website you will be able to get contact details for the nearest installer.






    Awesome! Where in Glasgow do you know? Tried google and don’t see it. Where are you based? 

  6. 2 hours ago, Mashed Potatoes said:

    I've been looking at your other thread! Ecotune have done a good job there. You hit the nail on the head in your other thread really - on a standard set of hybrids you've got good power. The graph is smooth, the little hump around 2500 on the torque curve I assume is the turbo changeover so I wouldn't be concerned about that. There MAY be room to push a little harder in your fuel system with you having the pre LCI pump, but that's irrelevant if the turbos are out of their efficiency range by that point. From what I know about Ecotune's turbos it's their own spec so they will know what works best.


    We will run our standard hybrids at 2.7bar and make anywhere between 415-430BHP and 600-620ftlbs depending on the car. My car made 418BHP and a fraction over 600ftlbs I think from memory with a Wagner intercooler and downpipe, the rest of the exhaust is still standard.


    The bigger hybrids that we're developing (our aim is as close to 500BHP/1000Nm as possible) are currently running at 2.95bar on my car so we're running close to the maximum range the boost sensor can read. We're hoping to knock this down to between 2.8 and 2.9bar due to the amount of extra air they're pushing whilst keeping it relatively smokeless. 


    The only other thing I would suggest you do is map your gearbox. Have you heard of xHP? I run the stage 3 map which is a touch harder on the gearbox compared to stage 2 but it completely transforms the car. Well worth the money.

    Thanks for the advice there. I did ask for for a software upgrade for the gearbox to Ecotune but they said the don’t do anything for it. I haven’t heard of xhp before no. What does that involve and how can I get it done so far North?  I’m in Aberdeen and Edinburgh through the week. 

  7. Hello Mr Mashed Potatoes. Great thread and what a tremendous gift you have for having the patience of a god. That would vex me to pure rage even attempting that. I’ve a 535d e60 on Hybrids and Wagner done at Ecotune in Glasgow. I’m just wondering what kind of magic you could do to it. Currently running 414hp and 793nm on pre lci car. I know the box has limits and it’s just about to have the gearbox serviced but out of interest have you worked on a similar car? What results did you get? TIA. 


  8. 9 hours ago, Blobby said:

    Very impressive. Makes my 365bhp inadequate

    Although wait for our own 'Mashed Potatoes' he's aiming for 500bhp and 1000Nm on his 535d

    500 is achievable with meth etc but would the box take 1000nm and be reliable? 500hp is a new set of turbos altogether. Although I’d love to push the limits of it I’m not stripping mine again to go for more. Before the kid came along I was in a 650hp big single turbo Supra so chasing big numbers is a thing of the past for me haha. 

  9. When my sunroof is just on the up position it rattles quite a bit. Is there any way to tighten it? Also when it’s fully closed there seems to be quite a bit of wind noise from it. I have a new sunroof seal to get fitted but not sure it’s that as it doesn’t leak at all. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.