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Darkbmwlord

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Everything posted by Darkbmwlord

  1. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    £12.80 thrown in the direction of eBay, and...
  2. Watch in fascinated horror as I attempt to run my BMW e39 on a shoestring budget. If I'm on such a tight budget, why a BMW? Well, I needed an emergency banger, and it was very very cheap. If I'd known what fussy cars they can be, I wouldn't have bothered... still, you live and learn. Thanks to the excellent advice on here I was able to tackle some of the (many) issues it came with, and it's starting to grow on me - it's just managed a 600 mile trip in the last few days. Since money is tight just now, replacement is not an option, so I'm going to try and keep it going on an almost non existent budget. Yes, this was an expensive car, and many of you maintain your cars to a beautiful standard - I can't compete with that. But my car really is a an old banger, 18 years old with the rust to prove it. I'll document my ongoing shenanigans here, and you can watch in horror. I don't think you will approve of everything you see, so I'll duck the brick bats... ...starting with my recent front suspension repair. During the replacement of the strut, I had to grind off the droplink. Fortunately I had a new replacement - the Lemforder ones are £90, out of the question just now, so the replacement was...£9.99. For the pair. Delivered. Well, it should get me to the MOT, when it will become clear whether it will pass another one...
  3. Hey - Ive got a classic!

    Nice article you might enjoy... https://classics.honestjohn.co.uk/news/comment/2017-10/future-classic-friday-bmw-5-series-e39/
  4. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Arrrgghhhh! 1 step forward, 2 steps back... ...you would think the car would be grateful for its new maf sensor, but now it has a rougher, popping idle at times, and rougher running while it's warming up. Vacuum leak perhaps?
  5. Favourite feature?

    (Apologies if somewhere a similar thread has been run previously.) What is your favourite feature on your car? As winter is upon us, I've decided that mine is... lights. No, not the awful headlights, but rather the delightful puddle lamps on the doors - such an elegant touch. And the rest of the lights - a well lit glovebox, an amazingly well lit boot, and the subtle touch - 2 red LEDs in the roof shining discretely on the gear stick at night. I've never had such a thoughtfully lit car, lovely at night. What's your favourite feature?
  6. My third E39! :)

    But who wants a clattery, expensive to maintain compression engine, belching out filthy fumes? Leave it in the farm tractor... (I'll get my coat...)
  7. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    The Darkbmwlord smites again... Today I fitted a second hand, working maf sensor - what a difference! Much more alert, smoother pickup, and no flat spots. Hopefully it will improve the fuel consumption too. One puzzling thing - it came with a sealing ring, pictured, which the old one didn't have. But it was impossible to fit the maf sensor with it in, the clips wouldn't snap on from the air intake. Anyone else had that problem? Sorted: Maf sensor New tyres Missfires/coil packs Front strut Outstanding: ABS fault Oil change The shoestring adventure continues...
  8. Diesel injector cleaning solution for ultrasound bath?

    Sorry forgot to include the text with that! Which was... "Water is a poor lubricant - wouldn't it be better to use something solvent based, or diesel fuel?"
  9. Diesel injector cleaning solution for ultrasound bath?

    VID-20171027-WA0000.mp4
  10. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Put more petrol in it. During the last few weeks, I've had big changes to my life, including moving to a different part of the country to care for my mother. This BMW thingy has proceeded serenely to swallow up several long journeys and paraphernalia without issue. On top of that, my mother who never passes comment on such matters said "mmm, this is a nice comfortable car dearie, are you keeping this for a while?" So if it gets mother's approval... This has only been possible because of the help and info available on here, and the kindness of many of you - thank you all very much.
  11. Wiring help

    I'd like to tackle repairing the wiring at the boot lid, as you can see I think someone has been there before! Hopefully it might fix the flickering of the number plate lights. I'm afraid I don't know much about wiring - could an expert tell me what kind of wire to buy? I don't want to use too heavy or too light for the current and cause a fire! Many thanks for your help.
  12. Fun with fault codes

    Well after some grovelling, I discovered my car does indeed have an OBD socket, as well as a round thingy under the bonnet. Rejoice! (I could have saved myself buying an adaptor for the round thingy under the bonnet if I'd realised...) So, using a free app on my phone called TorquePro, and a Bluetooth ELM327 obd plugin wizardry, my phone showed me stored faults as per the picture. And the power of Google whisked me up a list of alleged code meanings. If correct, this is what was stored: P0101 - multiple misfires P0300 - mass airflow values implausible P0304 - cylinder 4 misfire P0306 - cylinder 6 misfire P0170 - fuel trim P0173 - fuel trim P1250 - I couldn't find anything listed Multiple misfires? I didn't need a code reader to tell me that... So, my questions: Do these look authentic codes? What is "fuel trim"? What is 01250? Why are no codes showing up for the abs - the dash is like Blackpool Illuminations with brake warning lights? The MAF sensor looks fairly new to me, and I would say it's not a genuine part. But it must be doing something because the engine runs poorly when it's disconnected. I've cleared all the stored faults and will see if any more develop, but ant thoughts on the above would be greatly appreciated!
  13. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Well, time to replace the screeching wipers for £9.99 eBay replacements. First result? Silent wipers. Hooray. ...but...the drivers side smears and leaves vision attrocious! The blade appears uneven. This may be somethingto do with the postman's ability to flatten the box and force it through the letter box while I was out. Well done Royal Mail...
  14. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Ah! In that case, I failed...
  15. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Well, for all those who said driving with the headlights on would help dry them out, 50% of you stand up and take a bow, because one of the lights has largely cleared. Mind you, most of the on-coming driver will be visiting Specsavers...
  16. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Hmm. While doing some research on cold start tappet noise, a common theme amongst owners was the thought that giving the engine a good thrashing sometimes helped, rather than low rev cruising, which is my normal gait. So this morning I held it in lower gears, overtook everything on the dual carriageway, and tailgated on the motorway outside lane. This is quite unlike me, and I felt embarrassingly a bit of the steriotypical BMW idiot. It was strangely enjoyable.... (PS not suggesting anything about BMW drivers on here - I know you are all paragons of respectability...)
  17. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Put petrol in it.
  18. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    When I got it, it had an effortlessly naff stitched leather look cover on it, and I thought the wheel underneath must be worn, but when I removed it, that was the result!
  19. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Today ah drove ma car. It did not break down.
  20. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Nothing.
  21. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    They sure would...now, let me check down the back of the sofa... ...ok, 37p and half a mars bar. I might offer them and see... To be honest I'm not into to modifying, or bling up, just to keep the car tidy and roadworthy. Due to a family illness situation, I'm suddenly having to use and rely on the car far more than I was - another 6 hour motorway trip coming up! Hence trying to get it to run reasonably well, all on JSA! So I have to carefully target my efforts. I had to do a 2 hour drive in the dark and rain last night, and the headlights were like candles - ok on main beam, but dangerous on dip. And it's dip I spent 90% of the time on...
  22. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Hmm, I like the sound of this...
  23. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    New headlights? I'm on a shoestring...
  24. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Well, another long journey has shown the shudder to be cured, following the new tyres and re balanced fronts. Yee ha! Awaiting the arrival of new front door seal, rear window mechanism, wiper blades and maf sensor. The project rolls onwards...
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