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About Darkbmwlord

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    1999 523 SE manual, rust green
  1. Hey - Ive got a classic!

    Nice article you might enjoy... https://classics.honestjohn.co.uk/news/comment/2017-10/future-classic-friday-bmw-5-series-e39/
  2. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Arrrgghhhh! 1 step forward, 2 steps back... ...you would think the car would be grateful for its new maf sensor, but now it has a rougher, popping idle at times, and rougher running while it's warming up. Vacuum leak perhaps?
  3. My third E39! :)

    But who wants a clattery, expensive to maintain compression engine, belching out filthy fumes? Leave it in the farm tractor... (I'll get my coat...)
  4. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    The Darkbmwlord smites again... Today I fitted a second hand, working maf sensor - what a difference! Much more alert, smoother pickup, and no flat spots. Hopefully it will improve the fuel consumption too. One puzzling thing - it came with a sealing ring, pictured, which the old one didn't have. But it was impossible to fit the maf sensor with it in, the clips wouldn't snap on from the air intake. Anyone else had that problem? Sorted: Maf sensor New tyres Missfires/coil packs Front strut Outstanding: ABS fault Oil change The shoestring adventure continues...
  5. Favourite feature?

    (Apologies if somewhere a similar thread has been run previously.) What is your favourite feature on your car? As winter is upon us, I've decided that mine is... lights. No, not the awful headlights, but rather the delightful puddle lamps on the doors - such an elegant touch. And the rest of the lights - a well lit glovebox, an amazingly well lit boot, and the subtle touch - 2 red LEDs in the roof shining discretely on the gear stick at night. I've never had such a thoughtfully lit car, lovely at night. What's your favourite feature?
  6. Diesel injector cleaning solution for ultrasound bath?

    Sorry forgot to include the text with that! Which was... "Water is a poor lubricant - wouldn't it be better to use something solvent based, or diesel fuel?"
  7. Diesel injector cleaning solution for ultrasound bath?

  8. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Put more petrol in it. During the last few weeks, I've had big changes to my life, including moving to a different part of the country to care for my mother. This BMW thingy has proceeded serenely to swallow up several long journeys and paraphernalia without issue. On top of that, my mother who never passes comment on such matters said "mmm, this is a nice comfortable car dearie, are you keeping this for a while?" So if it gets mother's approval... This has only been possible because of the help and info available on here, and the kindness of many of you - thank you all very much.
  9. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Well, time to replace the screeching wipers for £9.99 eBay replacements. First result? Silent wipers. Hooray. ...but...the drivers side smears and leaves vision attrocious! The blade appears uneven. This may be somethingto do with the postman's ability to flatten the box and force it through the letter box while I was out. Well done Royal Mail...
  10. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Ah! In that case, I failed...
  11. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Well, for all those who said driving with the headlights on would help dry them out, 50% of you stand up and take a bow, because one of the lights has largely cleared. Mind you, most of the on-coming driver will be visiting Specsavers...
  12. The Darkbmwlord and his E39 on a shoestring...

    Hmm. While doing some research on cold start tappet noise, a common theme amongst owners was the thought that giving the engine a good thrashing sometimes helped, rather than low rev cruising, which is my normal gait. So this morning I held it in lower gears, overtook everything on the dual carriageway, and tailgated on the motorway outside lane. This is quite unlike me, and I felt embarrassingly a bit of the steriotypical BMW idiot. It was strangely enjoyable.... (PS not suggesting anything about BMW drivers on here - I know you are all paragons of respectability...)
  13. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Put petrol in it.
  14. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    When I got it, it had an effortlessly naff stitched leather look cover on it, and I thought the wheel underneath must be worn, but when I removed it, that was the result!