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Everything posted by c00lh4nd

  1. c00lh4nd

    Being Tailgated

    I am with you on this. I had some dick in a black Astra tailgating me @20mph, trying to do anything to get past me on the A34 whilst in traffic: he could not go anywhere we were in traffic. I got sick of his antics so when the traffic eased in front I burried my right foot In the carpet . only to get caught by a camera, doing 46 in a 40 zone. I should’ve just ignored him. He got stressed and angry, I got 3 points and £100 fine
  2. So. A Big Ex-Royal Marine and his lady are having a quiet drink in a pub, when the ex-marine goes to syphon his python. While he is away from his girl, a rather suave fellow in the Bar walks over and whispers 3 things the Ex-Marine's GF@s ear, to which she immediately goes bright red with embarrassment and tells Mr Suave how filthy he is and how her boyfriend will hear about this on his return and will kick the shit out of him. At this Mr Suave returns to his seat, not long after which the Ex-Marine returns. On his return the Ex-Marine's GF tells him about Mr Suave saying "He said he wanted to rip my panties off with his teeth and breath in the gusset"!! At this the Ex-Marine stands up and rolling his left sleeve up to reveal a forearm like Popeye's announces "I'll give im fuck'in gusset." "No, no" his GF cries “There is more. He said that after ripping off my panties with his teeth and breathing in the gusset, he was going to lick my Jack-n-danny out like a cat licking cream"!! "I'll fuck'in cream im" shouts the Ex-Marine, as he rolls up is right sleeve, to reveal a more powerful looking forearm. "Wait, Wait" the GF cries “There is more. He said that after ripping off my panties with his teeth to breath in the gusset, and after licking my Jack-n-danny out like a cat licking cream, he was going to flip my upside down, fill my jack-n-danny with larger and drink it all through a straw"!! At this point the Ex-Marine rolls his shirt sleeves down, and sits down at the table. “After all he has said, aren’t you going to hit the perv?” cries his girlfriend. “Good god no woman” says the Ex-Marine, “Anyone who can drink that amount of larger, I ain’t risking a fight with”
  3. It spoils the cut of my trousers. But it keeps her in doors happy [emoji3] Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  4. Well, I puckered up and plucked up the courage to try the Carly product and adaptor to change some of the codes on my F11. Having spent the £40+ on the OBD wireless adaptor and £40 or so on the IOS application I nervously tried the product. For coding I tried some of the simpler tasks activating folding mirrors 0 seconds after remote locking, enabled the easy entry/exit steering tilt and auto-activating the Active High Beam option when the headlights are active. I found the process simple and easy to-do. There were however a couple of disappointments. 1) The product does not, as yet, support NBT iDrive (mildly disappointing and my fault for not doing enough due diligence) 2) The diagnostics found 15 error codes that could not be cleared. Many I was not bothered about but the ODC sensors are showing a short circuit despite working and with the immobiliser system. On the whole an easy product to use but it does lack some options that appear on the F10 cheat sheet, e.g. HUD settings being one set of obvious odes. Hope this helps anyone who like me was intrigued by the idea of coding but was put off by the need for German and the MS Windows Like Registry structure when playing with their pride a joy C00lh4nd
  5. c00lh4nd

    X6 scam.....

    The usual scam laws apply 1) The wording of the description is all in capitals and has errors ( PUSH START FRONT and 16 SERVICES ) 2 Services per year @ ~10k miles per year 2) No interior pictures 3) Sellers referred to in the thirt person 4) Inoccuous location. Clearly residential but very sanitised 5) Take a leaf from Wheeler Dealers - No see, no bid With these and the reluctance to meet with you, it is one to run from IMHO
  6. c00lh4nd

    Radio switches 1-8

    I am with Golfer1; * is for the screen off for night driving.
  7. c00lh4nd

    BTCC or BSB

    BTCC Every time.. Watched it today and in what sport can you see 2 multi Champions at their sport knock each other out of a race within the 1st 100m.. Epic !!
  8. c00lh4nd

    Audio question

    The HK system also provides digital sound processing from DTS
  9. c00lh4nd

    Carly adapter generation 2 problem

    I agree <again> with Sshooie :-). I experienced the update but unlike the problem you are having mine reconnected fine.. Some obvious questions 1) Have you turned your phone off and on - Some times with IOS this is needed to see Wifi components 2) Have you forced IOS to forget the Wifi
  10. c00lh4nd

    First Attempt at Coding - Using Carly

    I am am wondering if lane departure warning is a similar example. If you have the adaptive headlights with adaptive main beam then you have the KADAR camera. Apart from the code I am struggling to find anything else lane departure uses.. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  11. c00lh4nd

    Grand Therf Auto

    Hmm, not sure his latest interest will outlive his love for games. A slight set back, New girlfriend, lost cherry and 3 months will see him return to GTA. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  12. c00lh4nd

    First Attempt at Coding - Using Carly

    Nash I think TopGear addressed this with their review of the last but one M5. Their message was there was simply too many options that got in the way of a pure driving experience. I am with sshooie (spookily on many things) KISS is my motto to life. Plus it is kinda naughty to think you are hacking your car (when you are not in reality). Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  13. don't I feel the lemon... And I have a Phd too boot Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  14. c00lh4nd

    Msport model

    as my teanager would say.. Ewww, dats Ger'ay
  15. c00lh4nd

    F11 wish I had options but potential retro fit

    I hope the retro fit ambient lighting is better than the option factory fit. With the factory fit in mine you get a choice of two; BMW Orange or Modern (White) neither of which are really noticable against the lighting in the cabin from all the instruments.
  16. c00lh4nd


    I have the phone cradle for the iPhone 6 & 7 and all it does is connect the phone to the car without the need for the use of the USB, whilst keeping the phone secure. So I can charge, play music and access those supported apps via the iDrive, whilst leaving the USB free for additional storage for Video etc.
  17. I am glad this has been discussed and is deamed "normal" as I fitted into 535iAR's Dad's state of mind when I saw I had condensation in my headlights recently..
  18. With the number of camera's we are fitting to our BM'ers I propose a new section called.. "What I saw today.." for us to post some of the funny, heartstopping and idiocy we see on our roads as we drive. I got one yesterday, what I thought was a young bloke in a Metalic Red Toyota Auris who chose to go from the Outside lane of the M60 to the M56 link road junction with mere feet to spare, braking herd in the inside lane to push into a space causing those behind who were continuing on the M60 in the inside lane to brake or avoid.. Only when I overtook on the M56 link did I see it was a young woman... More evidence the fairer of our species are becoming more aggresive behind the wheel..
  19. c00lh4nd

    Grand Therf Auto

    Without a doubt THE best game ever. I have played all versions from GTA ( top down on the PC) to GTA v. Played GTA V on XBox and love the online experience. Now awaiting GTA VI or Skyrim Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  20. c00lh4nd

    Your Top 5 Games Of All Time

    Has to be 1) GTA V 2) fallout 3 & 4 3) Witcher 3 4) Call of Duty 1 & w 5) Metal Gear Solid 3+ A difficult question, as the Forza range has been great, as has red Redemption Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  21. c00lh4nd

    Am I the only one? Gearbox behavior F11

    Sshooie I am with you, I love how there is the feature of engine breaking from the gears. I have a similar spec to you on my tourer. My previous cars we big engined Jag XFs where there was no such effect. I have to say I am impressed with the BMW gear box. Paperjams I guess this is simply a matter of preference, hey if we all liked the same thing we would be a troubled species:-) c00lh4nd Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
  22. c00lh4nd

    First Attempt at Coding - Using Carly

    Nash Leaning on an open door with me on this. If it is there for coding then and it is asthetics (Number of Indicator Flashes, Intesity of DRLs, HUD Coontent etc) then why not make it a tick option ?
  23. c00lh4nd

    NW meet up 28th May.... Bull i' th' thorn

    I agree, I am up for somewhere in the Peak District or Macclesfield/Wilmslow.. Buxton, Eyme, Castleton, StonyMiddleton, That place with the Tarts (Bakewell), Matlock But I know my places as a noob, so these are suggestions
  24. c00lh4nd

    First Attempt at Coding - Using Carly

    NashDm2 Forgive my naivety but are all but the indicators not settings under the HUD setting in iDrive ? I have a late model 2015 F11 and they are for me.
  25. c00lh4nd

    First Attempt at Coding - Using Carly

    I have used Carly for my initial experiment as it was more akin to "plug n play", which as I say does not support NBT. However reading around e-SYS there are plenty of options and support for NBT iDrive. As for the HUD, again in Carly there is no support for the Fxx but some basic for the Exx. Not sure about ISTA, however when I looked at e-SYS and the cheatsheets there are plenty of options for the hud and the NBT. Foir the HUD the following seems to be supported Brightness Indicators Radio Channels Telephone Contacts Music Tracks Adaptive Cruise Control - Break Distance Digital Tacho See the thread below for the cheetsheats. http://www.bimmerfest.com/forums/showthread.php?t=794469&page=2 Good web page for intro into e-SYS coding http://codingf10.com/getting-started/