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Everything posted by pauliexjr

  1. pauliexjr

    BMW mechanic wanted in Central Scotland

    Try Stuart and Annie at M3 Motor Co. near Bathgate, best indy I have come across and he really knows his stuff! They don't have a website, but here's a link with their contact details: https://www.yelp.co.uk/biz/m3-motor-co-bathgate
  2. pauliexjr

    About to break a 2001 e39 touring 530i titan silver

    Yep, that makes sense, but I've just found out what is involved in swapping out a compete front section and as i don't have a garage to work in that has been put on the back burner for a few months!
  3. pauliexjr

    PREDATOR - It really does exist

    Yep, I've got one here too!
  4. pauliexjr

    About to break a 2001 e39 touring 530i titan silver

    Hi Pete, sorry, very late to this party and if the car has gone such is life, if not do you still have the front carpet and underlay? The one in mine has a huge hole in the passenger side like it's been melted with acid.
  5. pauliexjr

    water leak into cabin.. help

    What he said ^^^^ They are holes in the bottom of your doors to allow any water to drain away, they can get blocked by accumulated muck but a simple prod with a piece of wire is normally enough to clear them. You need to open the door and look underneath to spot them.
  6. pauliexjr

    PHEV not being used as intended!

    In most organisation the majority of company car drivers are salespeople and engineers and the issue is a total lack of infrastructure coupled with time spent charging. As a salesman I plan my journeys around my appointments, if I had to factor in additional time to allow my transport to charge up after a run to Newcastle from Edinburgh I'd be losing half my working day! The original idea (at least from the proponents of hybrid or even totally electric vehicles) is that they would be used for short journeys, commuting, shopping, school run etc. and left unused for long periods so they can be recharged. What wasn't take into consideration when the government offered these subsidies to businesses was people like myself who do 25,000 + miles per year and can be in the car and actually travelling for up to 7-8 hours a day. As for a penalty clause my old company deduct £60 per month for company car users, but nothing if you take a hybrid, so you could say they are actually penalising non-hybrid adopters, you also pay almost zero benefit-in-kind tax on a hybrid, but you can be sure the 'penalty fund' is going into the company and treasury coffers and not towards saving the planet!
  7. pauliexjr

    Back in the fold (again!)

    Two things seem to happen every December, Christmas and me losing my job! Happened again this year, 3rd year on the trot we get to end of November and P45 time So, the shiny A4 Avant Black Edition has gone back to Lex Leasing and I've been out and bought myself an '03 E39 520i Touring for getting to and from interviews (plus I hate being stuck without wheels!) It' a nice, solid old bus in metallic black with a couple of ginger bits, F/O/S wheel arch has some bubbling and the tailgate isn't as solid as when it rolled of the line, the interior smells musty, probably needs the vapour barriers checking. It has a lumpy tickover at idle and the box growls a bit at low revs, but £900 and 96k can't be too bad. Most disturbing issue is under the passenger side floor mat, the carpet and insulation look like they've been attacked with a blow torch or very strong acid leaving a hole the size of a dinner plate, so I'm on the hunt for replacement carpet, but when all is said and done the driving seat of an E39 is a familiar and comfortable place to be
  8. pauliexjr

    water leak into cabin.. help

    Also check your door drains.
  9. pauliexjr

    PHEV not being used as intended!

    My old company encouraged the choice of hybrids, but as these are company cars rather than a car allowance it meant if you chose one you would be paying to refuel it out of your own pocket whenever you plugged it in at home as (AFIK) there is no mechanism in place to differentiate between household consumption and car charging. I also suspect the majority of company car drivers who choose hybrids won't go to the trouble of fitting charging points at their own homes, even assuming they live in a house with off-street parking!
  10. pauliexjr

    The Christmas present....

    A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter. Dear Maggie, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date. All my love, Chris P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing.
  11. pauliexjr

    If I had the £££

    All sorts of things I'd buy before that I'm afraid, like Duncan and NJW Italian exotica does very little for me I'm afraid, a fully sorted 3.4 E-type like this would be far more my 'thing' https://www.eaglegb.com/179/jaguar-etypes-for-sale/eagle-e-type-no-33
  12. pauliexjr


    I saw Rick Wakeman in concert a few years back, he told a story about how he gave up booze in order to get fitter, improve his health and save money. 3 months into the programme it was working, he'd lost weight, was sleeping better and was saving money. Then one day his wife dropped her handbag and whist helping her pick up the contents he found a receipt from Harrods for £450 for make-up. Apparently the conversation ensued as follows: "Why the hell are you spending £450 on make-up?" "To make myself look beautiful for you dear" "Really, and what the fuck do you think the booze was doing??" I nearly fell off my seat with laughter
  13. pauliexjr

    BMW 635csi Auto .. scheduled for destruction!!

    A fair few years ago I had cause to go to a customs warehouse in East London to arrange clearance of a freight lorry from Turkey. Sitting in the corner, covered in dust was a dark blue Lamborghini Miura circa late 60's. I asked one of the customs guys and apparently it had been sitting there for 6 months waiting for the importer to claim it. They had written to the owner when it first arrived but had heard nothing and it was now sitting accruing storage charges. They apparently auction unclaimed items, but for the life of me I couldn't find out where or when.
  14. My niece has been living with a guy for the past 3 years, initially on his parents farm in Norfolk, but recently moved back to Southport with him to be near her family. It turns out this guys parents run what is effectively a puppy farm, breeding Bischon Frises and King Charles Spaniels. He has openly admitted to my sister that when the breeding bitches were past their prime he would take them down the field and shoot them, he reckons he's been doing it for years. He recently strangled my niece's pet goose as it had fallen ill and needed to be taken to the vet. He said it wasn't worth spending money on. Now the dilemma, he and my niece have a female Labrador, she is about 2 years old and has recently given birth to 13 Labradoodle pups having been mated with a male Poodle. Two of the pups have died and she and the remaining pups are now kept confined to a small room in my niece's mobile home as her boyfriend can't stand the 'problems' associated with that number of pups wandering around. He has already arranged with a pal of his dad's to get her mated again as soon as she comes into season in about six months and obviously views this poor dog as a cash machine as the current pups are being sold for £5-600 each. His view is he can has 2 litters of pups off her per year as she only comes into season twice a year and that is fewer than the current legislation which prohibits breeding from the same bitch 3 times per year or more. Despite being horrified at the boyfriend's attitude and behaviour neither my sister nor any of their friends will say anything as my niece is bi-polar and they don't want to 'upset' her, I unfortunately live 200+ miles away so am not close enough to do anything, does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do about this obnoxious specimen?
  15. pauliexjr

    Animal lovers, what would you do?

    Not sure where this scumbag is living, I suggested the RSPCA but again, no one wants to upset my niece. So I think my next step has to be get more details i.e. his name and address and make a report myself and to hell with her delicate sensibilities!
  16. pauliexjr

    Don't play with your phone while driving, please.

    I got a b*llocking from my boss last week, "I've called you three times this morning, I needed to speak with you urgently, why didn't you pick up?" I explained I was driving, he then went off the deep end and said my company car has hands free and I should use it if he calls!
  17. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    My A4 was already booked in for repairs to the rear quarter and bumper following some asswipe hitting and running in a car park (no, no CCTV or witnesses) So I'm sitting in the house last night and there is a knock at the door, my neighbour looking very sheepish, "Er, I've hit your car when reversing out of the drive" I go out and find the front passenger door stove in so badly the window frame is sticking 3 inches away from the body and the door is wedged shut, whilst her Discovery has a three inch scratch on the rear bumper. Turns out she has reversed off her drive without checking behind and hit my car so gently she hasn't realised she is in contact and continued pushing the accelerator down whilst wondering why she's not moving! I suppose the only good news is she did finally notice something was wrong and 'fessed up, unlike the aforementioned car park tosser
  18. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Having stuck my head above the parapet once my only comment on Serena Williams (and her sister) is you wouldn't come home to either with an opened pay packet!
  19. Lying under the car welding the sub-frame on a Lancia Beta with an ARC welder, I put the welding rod down to chip off the accumulated slag, I then prodded the (now cooled, not that daft!) weld with my finger. Unfortunately I had rolled back onto the welding electrode and the resultant short circuit meant I was trying to weld the car with my index finger, the blister lasted for about a week after! Another one which happened to a mate, but for which I was responsible, we were fitting a new clutch to my Cortina 2000GT and I had a loop of rope round the gearbox tail and up through the gear lever hole in the transmission tunnel, supporting the weight of the box whilst Steve tried to get the spindle into the hole in the clutch plate. He shouted a muffled "OK" which I thought meant he had done it so I let go of the rope. Unfortunately he just meant take the strain and when I let go the gearbox bell housing hit him straight between the eyes!
  20. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Ah, sanity at last!
  21. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Something to do with the new door lock apparently, it's a key-less entry system.
  22. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Ooops, sorry pc brigade, didn't mean to give offence with my sexually categorising rant, believe it or not I actually like and respect women and merely put the outdated, outmoded and politically incorrect title up to possibly engender some camaraderie and draw attention to my post. Well it obviously worked, that will teach me won't it? Either way, female, male, gender neutral, hermaphrodite, the person in question has caused £3,275 of damage to my car due to their inattention, that comprises the door, locks, labour, paint, the need to straighten the 'B' post and then re-code the car's ECU. Oh, and I was actually repeating her husband's comment when he came round with the insurance details, but as he is over the age of 12 as well we are obviously both misogynistic gits!
  23. pauliexjr

    Anyone used ecotune?

    Used them for the decat on both my E39 and E61. They were quick and very helpful, even giving me £85 discount by taking the CAT on my E39 in p-ex. Good people.
  24. pauliexjr

    E39 Diesel workshop manual?

    Anyone any idea where I can get a workshop manual for a 2002 E39 2.5 diesel? Haynes don't do one and the only others I can find are rip-offs on CD which I don't really want.
  25. pauliexjr

    Anyone got a bit of love for old Fords?

    Hmmm, just come across a very rare beast indeed (if the guy who owns it is to be believed) I dropped the wife's car to a friend of my bro-in-law's garage for servicing and whilst there I noticed the arse-end of a white Capri sticking out from under a tarp in the corner of his workshop. On enquiring I was informed this was a 2.0 John Player Special model and sure enough it had the proper gold stripes and JPS insignia . I said I thought they only came in black but again was informed there was a limited edition in white. I can't find anything on line to confirm that. The tax disc suggests it was last on the road in 1981 and the guy he bought it from just stuck it in a garage when the tax expired and forgot about it. He wouldn't tell me how much he paid for it, but the owner reckons even in it's somewhat dilapidated state it's worth about £20K!