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pauliexjr

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Everything posted by pauliexjr

  1. pauliexjr

    If I had the £££

    All sorts of things I'd buy before that I'm afraid, like Duncan and NJW Italian exotica does very little for me I'm afraid, a fully sorted 3.4 E-type like this would be far more my 'thing' https://www.eaglegb.com/179/jaguar-etypes-for-sale/eagle-e-type-no-33
  2. pauliexjr

    Funny

    I saw Rick Wakeman in concert a few years back, he told a story about how he gave up booze in order to get fitter, improve his health and save money. 3 months into the programme it was working, he'd lost weight, was sleeping better and was saving money. Then one day his wife dropped her handbag and whist helping her pick up the contents he found a receipt from Harrods for £450 for make-up. Apparently the conversation ensued as follows: "Why the hell are you spending £450 on make-up?" "To make myself look beautiful for you dear" "Really, and what the fuck do you think the booze was doing??" I nearly fell off my seat with laughter
  3. pauliexjr

    BMW 635csi Auto .. scheduled for destruction!!

    A fair few years ago I had cause to go to a customs warehouse in East London to arrange clearance of a freight lorry from Turkey. Sitting in the corner, covered in dust was a dark blue Lamborghini Miura circa late 60's. I asked one of the customs guys and apparently it had been sitting there for 6 months waiting for the importer to claim it. They had written to the owner when it first arrived but had heard nothing and it was now sitting accruing storage charges. They apparently auction unclaimed items, but for the life of me I couldn't find out where or when.
  4. My niece has been living with a guy for the past 3 years, initially on his parents farm in Norfolk, but recently moved back to Southport with him to be near her family. It turns out this guys parents run what is effectively a puppy farm, breeding Bischon Frises and King Charles Spaniels. He has openly admitted to my sister that when the breeding bitches were past their prime he would take them down the field and shoot them, he reckons he's been doing it for years. He recently strangled my niece's pet goose as it had fallen ill and needed to be taken to the vet. He said it wasn't worth spending money on. Now the dilemma, he and my niece have a female Labrador, she is about 2 years old and has recently given birth to 13 Labradoodle pups having been mated with a male Poodle. Two of the pups have died and she and the remaining pups are now kept confined to a small room in my niece's mobile home as her boyfriend can't stand the 'problems' associated with that number of pups wandering around. He has already arranged with a pal of his dad's to get her mated again as soon as she comes into season in about six months and obviously views this poor dog as a cash machine as the current pups are being sold for £5-600 each. His view is he can has 2 litters of pups off her per year as she only comes into season twice a year and that is fewer than the current legislation which prohibits breeding from the same bitch 3 times per year or more. Despite being horrified at the boyfriend's attitude and behaviour neither my sister nor any of their friends will say anything as my niece is bi-polar and they don't want to 'upset' her, I unfortunately live 200+ miles away so am not close enough to do anything, does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do about this obnoxious specimen?
  5. pauliexjr

    Animal lovers, what would you do?

    Not sure where this scumbag is living, I suggested the RSPCA but again, no one wants to upset my niece. So I think my next step has to be get more details i.e. his name and address and make a report myself and to hell with her delicate sensibilities!
  6. pauliexjr

    Don't play with your phone while driving, please.

    I got a b*llocking from my boss last week, "I've called you three times this morning, I needed to speak with you urgently, why didn't you pick up?" I explained I was driving, he then went off the deep end and said my company car has hands free and I should use it if he calls!
  7. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    My A4 was already booked in for repairs to the rear quarter and bumper following some asswipe hitting and running in a car park (no, no CCTV or witnesses) So I'm sitting in the house last night and there is a knock at the door, my neighbour looking very sheepish, "Er, I've hit your car when reversing out of the drive" I go out and find the front passenger door stove in so badly the window frame is sticking 3 inches away from the body and the door is wedged shut, whilst her Discovery has a three inch scratch on the rear bumper. Turns out she has reversed off her drive without checking behind and hit my car so gently she hasn't realised she is in contact and continued pushing the accelerator down whilst wondering why she's not moving! I suppose the only good news is she did finally notice something was wrong and 'fessed up, unlike the aforementioned car park tosser
  8. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Having stuck my head above the parapet once my only comment on Serena Williams (and her sister) is you wouldn't come home to either with an opened pay packet!
  9. Lying under the car welding the sub-frame on a Lancia Beta with an ARC welder, I put the welding rod down to chip off the accumulated slag, I then prodded the (now cooled, not that daft!) weld with my finger. Unfortunately I had rolled back onto the welding electrode and the resultant short circuit meant I was trying to weld the car with my index finger, the blister lasted for about a week after! Another one which happened to a mate, but for which I was responsible, we were fitting a new clutch to my Cortina 2000GT and I had a loop of rope round the gearbox tail and up through the gear lever hole in the transmission tunnel, supporting the weight of the box whilst Steve tried to get the spindle into the hole in the clutch plate. He shouted a muffled "OK" which I thought meant he had done it so I let go of the rope. Unfortunately he just meant take the strain and when I let go the gearbox bell housing hit him straight between the eyes!
  10. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Ah, sanity at last!
  11. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Something to do with the new door lock apparently, it's a key-less entry system.
  12. pauliexjr

    Bloody women drivers!

    Ooops, sorry pc brigade, didn't mean to give offence with my sexually categorising rant, believe it or not I actually like and respect women and merely put the outdated, outmoded and politically incorrect title up to possibly engender some camaraderie and draw attention to my post. Well it obviously worked, that will teach me won't it? Either way, female, male, gender neutral, hermaphrodite, the person in question has caused £3,275 of damage to my car due to their inattention, that comprises the door, locks, labour, paint, the need to straighten the 'B' post and then re-code the car's ECU. Oh, and I was actually repeating her husband's comment when he came round with the insurance details, but as he is over the age of 12 as well we are obviously both misogynistic gits!
  13. pauliexjr

    Anyone used ecotune?

    Used them for the decat on both my E39 and E61. They were quick and very helpful, even giving me £85 discount by taking the CAT on my E39 in p-ex. Good people.
  14. pauliexjr

    E39 Diesel workshop manual?

    Anyone any idea where I can get a workshop manual for a 2002 E39 2.5 diesel? Haynes don't do one and the only others I can find are rip-offs on CD which I don't really want.
  15. pauliexjr

    Anyone got a bit of love for old Fords?

    Hmmm, just come across a very rare beast indeed (if the guy who owns it is to be believed) I dropped the wife's car to a friend of my bro-in-law's garage for servicing and whilst there I noticed the arse-end of a white Capri sticking out from under a tarp in the corner of his workshop. On enquiring I was informed this was a 2.0 John Player Special model and sure enough it had the proper gold stripes and JPS insignia . I said I thought they only came in black but again was informed there was a limited edition in white. I can't find anything on line to confirm that. The tax disc suggests it was last on the road in 1981 and the guy he bought it from just stuck it in a garage when the tax expired and forgot about it. He wouldn't tell me how much he paid for it, but the owner reckons even in it's somewhat dilapidated state it's worth about £20K!
  16. pauliexjr

    Sicario 2

    Nope, with you all the way, violence has it's place in films, but not at the expense of the narrative and whilst I'm all in favour of a good shoot up it has to be part of the film, not the whole raison d'etre.
  17. pauliexjr

    Kick-ball injuries

    Just bought the official FIFA World-Cup football table!
  18. pauliexjr

    Anyone got a bit of love for old Fords?

    My local neighbour had a SIerra Cosworth Sapphire sitting on his front drive until two months ago when he chopped it in for an original Lotus 7, not a Caterham, Westfield or any other 7 wannabe, a genuine Lotus and it is stunning to both look at and hear! The Sapphire was a dog of a thing, 4 doors - wrong, Aubergine colour - wrong, 4WD - wrong, and it had more rust streaks than a Baltic trawler! He still got enough for it to underwrite the Lotus without having to dig too deeply for the balance
  19. pauliexjr

    F30 330d Question...

    Fit a dump valve, then you'll have a whistle to accompany your whoosh
  20. I find cellulose thinners works well on most adhesives, give it a bit of a soak then rub with a scouring pad (nylon, not metal) soaked in thinners.
  21. pauliexjr

    Anyone got a bit of love for old Fords?

    Being a bit older my love of Fords goes back to my first car, a Mk1 Cortina 1200, closely followed by a 1500, then a MkII 1600E. The list goes on through Escorts and Capris and an immaculate Cortina MkIV 2000GT 2-door (which came a cropper when I hit a single decker bus head on on a country lane!) My last Ford was a 2.0 Sierra although I have driven a few Mondeos (or mundanos as I think is more appropriate) but the best ever was a 1959 MkII Zodiac convertible in two-tone blue and grey which I owned briefly in 1976, by far and away the best boulevard cruiser you could wish for and the sound of the straight 6 on open pipes was a real head turner!
  22. pauliexjr

    Itv4 +1 the blues brothers

    The car chase through the walnut groves towards the end of Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry was good fun too!
  23. pauliexjr

    An Irish jioke

    Murphy calls in to see Paddy, who is sitting at home with a broken leg, Paddy says "Me feet are freezin' mate, can you nip upstairs an get me slippers?" "No bother" says Murphy and goes upstairs where he finds Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on the bed. "Yer Da's just sent me up tae shag the pair of yous" he tells the girls. "Away yersel' ye fuckin' liar" "I'll prove it to you" Murphy says. He shouts down the stairs "Paddy, the both of 'em?" "Of course the two of em" comes teh reply "What's the use of fookin one?"
  24. pauliexjr

    Any British Leyland fans here?

    Didn't realise that, I only knew it shared many characteristics with the later 1800 so I wrongly assumed it was FWD. Hideous bloody thing whatever it's drive train!
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