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velvetmonkey last won the day on January 19 2017

velvetmonkey had the most liked content!


About velvetmonkey

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Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling
  • Location
    London- Brockley
  • Interests
    BMWs, Doctor Who, Chinese Food, Drink and Jazz
  • Occupation
    Visual effects artist


  • Garage
    2000 BMW 528i Touring
  1. air bag red icon warning light

    It could be absolutely anything, you need to read the codes to find out what it is
  2. Jump start through bonnet

    covering an exposed rod with a condom before it gets hot and heavy under the bonnet? these threads are comedy gold, please don’t torch your car, it’d be sad to have your questions stop
  3. 523i ecu

    You’re spot on, Dave. the TU in the engine code stands for Technische Überarbeitung, which translates as technica revision. TU engines are usually more similar to the next version to come out. Hence an M54 manifold fits on a M52TU Simon
  4. 523i ecu

    You’re right, the official figure for a M52TUB25 is 170 bhp, in real life it’s around 185
  5. 523i ecu

    The throttle body from the 525 is fly by wire, the throttle body you’ve got now is ‘semi fly by wire’. sadly your ecu won’t be able to operate the later throttle
  6. 523i ecu

    Dave, Fitting the intake manifold from an M54B25 seems to be much talked about amongst E46 owners. You’d need an adapter plate for your throttle body, and be prepared to grind off part of the throttle. the ecu you’ve got will adapt to the increased airflow over the first 100 miles or so after the swap. im pretty curious as to how this turns out, often thinking about doing it to my 528i. Let us know how you get on. Simon
  7. highbeam on/off in reverse

    Easy to reprogram a used lcm with bmw scanner
  8. What did you do to your E39 today ?

    Mainly just emptying water from the car. Cleared the drain holes under the ecu box, most of water was coming from there! Then redid my vapour seals for the fifth time
  9. mk4 nav rebuild - recomendations please

    Siemens contract it out to a company called repandmore. Here’s their website: http://www.repandmore.com/en/ They have all the original tools etc. They fixed what I was previously told was a bricked unit
  10. mk4 nav rebuild - recomendations please

    Hi Drew, I know it’s not in the uk, but Siemens VDO in Germany did a damn good job at repairing mine when the memory corrupted. Have you taken a look at the diy? It’s not as intimidating as you might think, and it will certainly save you money. I think it took me 15 minutes when I changed the dvd drive in mine. as for software mods, there are several around. There are complaints of the computer behaving strangely with some of them though, particularly the ones where it has speed camera warnings. hope this helps, Simon
  11. Widescreen Brightness

    It wasn’t retaining anything before, not even the position of the car before turning it off. Now it’s fine
  12. Widescreen Brightness

    It’s the memory in the nav computer becoming corrupted. It’ll eventually start forgetting last destinations and the address book. Siemens VDO in Germany can repair it. they did mine a couple of years ago and it’s been working perfectly since. At around £80 it’s much cheaper and quicker than mucking about with the ibus etc
  13. BMW Bluetooth ULF

    Hey Andrew, Your phone module, which is currently in the boot, can simply be swapped out for a ULF. You’ll need to get your hands on an adapter cable, these can be found on German Ebay quite often. The best ULF to get is the 13th generation one. I forget where to find the part numbers. My 12th Gen one works fine with an iPhone 7 once installed, it’ll be fully integrated with your steering wheel controls and radio etc. You may want to get the eject box for the centre console, or there are cheaper ways of adding the pairing button. check out this link for more info: https://store.bimmernav.com/blogs/installation/bmw-5-series-e39-1997-2003-bluetooth-retrofit-kits It’s well worth it, I love it on mine! simon
  14. 16 inch tyre and 17 inch spare?

    I know when I once had a slightly worn front tyre it confused the hell out of the gearbox. It’d probably be ok just to get you home, but I wouldn’t drive on it after that
  15. Most reliable engine is M57 3L ?

    Completely agree with chicaneuk there, no bmw engine is going to be bomb proof without spending money on maintenance. Just like a good kitchen knife, you’ve gotta sharpen it sometimes. that said, when an M57 gets a problem, it does seem to be more spectacular than when an M52/M54 does. If you want a car that you can neglect, and expect to be reliable, a German car is probably not the car for you